6.11.2010

Starting Over

Oh, where to begin...so many words...so many thoughts...so much has happened since I was last here. As you can see, there have been many changes...to this site...to my life. I don't really know where to start. I guess I'll start by pointing out the obvious. Haley and I have moved back to sunny California (temporarily?) and are re-starting our lives. Jeremy and I have separated and him and Buddy dog are in another state. For argument's sake (and the sake of offending some people) I will leave out the details. Maybe when things get to a better place I will be able to talk write about it. I didn't want to start a whole new blog site and I felt that the previous posts were still part of my life with my daughter so I just made a few alterations. So here we are...another chapter. Another series of unfortunate events that you never see coming. Is it crappy circumstances? You bet! Either way, this is the path that God has set before me. So where do I go from here? That is a very good question! And one that I am still trying to figure out the answer to...

I must say, I really fell in love with it back east. I would love to move back there...however, a decision like this must be carefully thought out. After all, it's no longer just about me and what I want...but rather, what is best for Haley and myself. What would be the smart decision? They have "sister" schools of the company that I have worked for nearly 7 years right around the Nashville area which is where I want to live. So do I do it? Do I get up and go and make it work? Or do I wait...wait til I can get on my feet first. But what if that never happens? Out there I know no one (although that has never stopped me before). All my family and friends are here. Although I must say that hasn't really been the big help either. It's actually been MORE stress (more on that on a later day). So right now I'm just taking one day at a time. I have a list of things and business matters that I need to take care of first.

So now that I got to blogging again (something I am very thankful that I started up again), my next step is to get back on my Shutterfly website. Ugh...do I really need to go back and visit that place? Yes, because it is important. Why did I do that in the first place? All these pictures...all these ideas of our "happy little family"...did it ever really exist? Or was I just trying to fool myself? Trying to convince myself that certain things would just go away...trying to convince myself that people were actually capable of change...I don't know. I may never know.

Now onto a Punkin update...another MAJOR milestone was hit while I was on hiatus from the blogging community. My baby girl turned a year old! Wow!!! Where did the time go??? It was seriously the fastest year of my life. And despite everything happening, it was also my happiest. In moments like this it is completely clear why God brought her into my life when he did. She is my Angel. The one who I live, breath and would die for. The one who (for lack of a better quote) "completes me" :-) My precious baby who lights up the dark and who's smile electrifies my soul.


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